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DELITTI (Crimes) (1986) Remarkable, legendary 'so-bad' movie
DELITTI (Crimes) (1986) Remarkable, legendary \'so-bad\' movie

"A staggeringly incompetent train-wreck-of-a-film that
gives a whole new meaning to the term bad cinema."
--Euro critic Johan Melia

Original German Title: DELITTI [Crimes]

director: Giovanna Lenzi (with supervision by husband Sergio P Astore)
starring: Salverio Valione Gianna Lenzi (as Jeaneete Len) Gianni Dei Michela Miti Giorgio Ardisson

Director Sergio P Astore was an Italian filmmaker who ventured into numerous cult genres but is especially known for his giallo CRIMES OF THE BLACK CAT. He supervised this production helmed by his wife Giovanni Lenzi in 1986, making it not only the lone Giallo directed by a woman but -unfortunately - generally considered one of the top five gleefully bad motion pictures of all time.

The outrageous plot finds Inspector Sanders investigating the murder of transsexual Harry Francis, killed during a private sex party. A weird toxin (concocted from a combination of uric acid, coffee and sugar) has grossly disfigured Harry's face. Soon other orgy attendees start dying, also victims of the 'mummifying' poison [now, oddly, administered via a deadly Taipan snake which the killer keeps in a bag (or sometimes his pocket)]. Julie Garrett, the girlfriend of deadman Harry, begins to investigate on her own, aided by private detective (news commentator, journalist, photographer, best selling mystery novelist) Bob Rawling. He discovers that Jimmy the Midget had also been at the party and was shooting a film which may (or may not) have captured the murderer. But Jimmy the Midget is also a drug dealer who had been distributing party favors at the orgy. Meanwhile, an ex-con blackmailer named 'Chewing Gum', had overheard some incriminating conversations and points Inspector Sanders to a drug manufacturing gang operating out of an old sawmill. It all gets tied to the murder plot - sorta - and after most every party attendee is murdered, the killer is revealed.

(Read at your own risk, may contain a spoiler or two)

Rarely has such an inept film been unleashed on the public. Besides sporting an embarrassing Swiss-cheese plot, a distinctly ugly looking use of film-stock with blurring colors accompanied by shoddy camerawork, and [in addition] erratic mindnumbing hatchet edits, nearly everything in the film is a vastly below-par utter failure. However - having said that - seldom has a movie existed which would qualify as such a guilty pleasure. The cult fan could gleefully make a list of 20+ unforgettable WTF moments. Here ere are three such examples:

1. The special effects are laughable. When the killer injects toxin into the body of his victim (whether derived from a weird coffee compound or from the poison of a Taipan snake), the face becomes horribly distorted (bottom left pic) into something that lacks any kind of facial qualities. The mutation is achieved from a few quick edits and the use of a fisheyed lens and a piecing soundtrack [which, incidentally was stolen from Lamberto Bava's Blade in the Dark].

2. In a sex scene between characters Bob Rawling and Betty, the unthinkable happens! The audience notices a string from actress Michela Miti's tampon! (See center pic below)This is the kind of inexcusable disregard for details that runs rampant in director Giovanna Lenzi's film.

3. As the film opens, the police are investigating the crime scene where clearly two bodies are covered by sheets on the floor (pic below right) yet throughout the film - including this scene - there is only mention of ONE murder and ONE death. This flabbergasting plot mistake is, unfortunately, typical in a narrative riddled with similar inexplicable errors.

An Italian film with English subtitles; widescreen format (16:9), uncut version (100 min.), DVD encoded for ALL REGION NTSC WORLD FORMAT, playable on any American machine. Extras include theatrical trailers.

Nudity/Graphic Violence/Strong Sexual Themes/Drugs/Sexual Brutality/Homosexuality:
Intended for Mature Audiences

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